Reading

Since it's between spring and summer semesters (though odds are I wont be going to summer school I'll share the details further down the page) I'm without a bus pass and add in 100+ degree temperatures and an over 300 lbs body I'm pretty much stranded at home. To pass the time I've been reading rereading the Haruhi Suzumiya book series, Azumanga Daioh, filling in the gaps on Fairy Tail (I was reading the manga in stores and reading the current chapters online, now I'm filling in the gap) and the web comic Misfile. I can relay empathize with the main character Ash of Misfile, trapped in a body that shouldn't be his but is but on the other hand I cant fathom how Ash would ever want a mans body again. Though on the other hand I empathize very easily, I mean ridiculously so.

On the very last day to pay for classes, I learned there was one more form to fill out for financial aid and now odds are because of that I wont get that financial aid and that leaves me with $28 dollars until fall.

More background

At some point in December or was it January (I dont have the best memory) I found out I have aspergers, it made me feel miserable but it sort of made sense. I consider hanging out with the people I consider friends a toughly miserable experience yet I cant really say no, to anything really. 

I want to be a woman, but truth be told I dont know if I really do or if I just want to be different and I see being a woman as a way out. I need a therapist but as I said I cant afford one.

One more thing Yes most of my posts are gonna be all rambley and short.

I never thought I would do this

I am not the sort of person who would normally bear my soul the web but I figure not many people will actually see this and it's cheaper then therapy. First off a little background on me I'm obese unemployed and in community college, well sorta I screwed up and wont be able to go this summer (probably, I have to keep hope) and that would be fine and all if I didnt live off the financial aid. I still live at home and am afraid I'll never "grow up", I'm only dated 1 person and that was 2 dates in my freshman year of high school. I'm afraid I'm a failure as an adult, and as a human being.

Dont get me wrong I'm not suicidal, but if I was in a burning building I wouldn't exactlyrush out.